I’ve always had this innate memory. Kind of like a repetitive dream only that I’m not asleep.
An inner feeling of ravishing joy connected to being alive.
It doesn’t appear often or at least I am not conscious of it often.
But when I do feel it I recognize it immediately.
I cannot simply ignore it. It is a state of bliss filled with excitement and anticipation for what shall be. It lasts but only a few seconds but the memory lasts a life time.
I have consciously or unconsciously sought to recreate this feeling in my life. To make it a living joy.
Not always possible. Fear and worry weighing me down into a denser interpretation of the world around me.
And yet I know this is an illusion for the memory proves otherwise.
That a happy state of existence is a possibility not a dream.
The closer I am to my truth, to what I really enjoy doing the more often it appears. The more I commit to this relationship with myself the happier I feel.
Even if fear of what shall be enters my way, when all the currently recognizable sheds away, my determined commitment to myself lights the way.
A sacred relationship by far!
The rewards infinite, the miracles by the dozen, the setbacks heaps, the doubt and fears are part of the dance.
The love I make with myself, holly. Me, myself and I, my souls’ memory coming alive.
What a challenge what a grace.